Ross Jeffries' - GET LAID / PERSUASION NEWSLETTER!!!
April/May 1994
6245 Bristol Parkway, Suite 275
Culver City, CA 90230
(310) 822-5771
World Wide Web Site: http://www.seduction.com
Email:ross@seduction.com
WIMPS INTO WINNERS:
HOW TO WALK TALL AND KICK BUTT WITH WOMEN!!!
Tuesday, 11:00 A.M.
Dear Friend,
There's a common saying in street fighting that 95% of all real
fights wind up in a clinch and go to the ground.
Could that really be true? Frankly, I don't know. But I will
say this: 95% of the time, a woman will test you by the second
date, or sooner, to see:
1. If you'll take her bullshit.
2. How hungry you are for her attention(remember: those who look
hungry, never get fed).
3. Just how much control she can exert over you and/or the
relationship.
In this issue, I'd like to talk about how you can pass those
tests, and how to do some testing of your own. Believe me,
this is important. If you've ever been dumped for
being "too nice", or have been told, time and again, "let's just
be friends", it's because you haven't learned to recognize when you're
being tested or just haven't yet learned how to properly respond.
You thought you would get points for being "co-operative" and
"helpful", and instead you just got the fuzzy end of the lollipop.
Why She Tests You: The Search For Strength And Certainty
Look: one of the primary things that women are looking for
from a man is security; the feeling that someone is stronger
than they are. When you put a woman in her place, when you set rules
and boundaries for her to follow, it lets her know she can relax
around you and feel comfortable and secure. This search for
strength is the single most important reason why she tests you.
The other factor is ambivalence, or what I call the "make up my
mind for me" syndrome. You see, the sad reality is that often a
woman just isn't that interested in you one way or another. Maybe
you aren't exactly the physical type she goes for, maybe she just
got burned in a bad relationship, or there's some unseen competitor
who she's waiting to hear from. What ever her reasons, you can tell
this is happening when you hear something like, "Uh...well, I'd like
to go out with you Friday, but why don't you call me late Friday
afternoon and I'll let you know for sure?".
Finally, there is the fact that sometimes modern women just get
overwhelmed with eighty billion things they are trying to do at once.
And, when overwhelmed, they flake on commitments that occur during
the peak of the overwhelm.
How To Handle It..Dealing From A Position Of Strength
To get back to street fighting analogies, there's a concept
from Jeet Kun Do, the fighting style of the late, great Bruce Lee,
that basically says that any weapon thrust your way as part of an
attack is just a convenient target to be destroyed. Coming from
this perspective, an attack, rather than something to be feared,
is just an unprecedented opportunity to.....
KICK THE OTHER GUY'S ASS!!!!
Just so, a woman's bullshit and tests are great opportunities
to establish respect and dramatically increase her interest in you.
In other words, your response to these tests, instead of being,
"Oh no...why is she doing this? What did I do wrong?", from now
on will be....
AH, HAH! A RESPECT OPPORTUNITY!!!
Look: your attitude has to be that every rude piece of behavior,
every silly test of hers is just an unprecedented opportunity for
you to establish respect, increase her interest, and intensify her
desire to please you.
Taken from this perspective, you'll be mentally prepared, and may
even find yourself actually looking forward to her trying to pull
shit, since you know it's your chance to get her really hot for you!!!!
Now, before we go on to some specific scenarios, let me add one
other thing: when you do put her in her place ...
... IT'S GOT TO COME FROM THE RIGHT PLACE IN YOU!!!
In other words, the macho idiot who loses control and trashes
the place when his girlfriend comes home ten minutes late is
defintely not the example to follow. All he's doing is showing
he can't control himself and he just earns the woman's contempt.
Notice I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't get a little pissed.
Just don't go nutso with a stream of obscentities. ( Streams of
obscentities are for afterwards, when you are in bed with her.)
The other thing that doesn't work is acting like a hurt little boy.
Whining stuff like, "How could you do this to me?" or, "But you
promised!" won't cut it, good buddy.
No. You have to come from the calm, but firm"take it or leave it"
position. This is all part of displaying the critically
important.........
WILLINGNESS TO WALK AWAY FROM HER!!!
You see, after years of experience and study, I've come to
the conclusion that a woman can only experience real passion for
if on some level she believes she could do something to lose
you! Understand that when you show this willingness to walk
away, in any area of your life, it conveys the message that you
are the prize to be pursued, that you are the person of value,
and they had better take advantage of the opportunity. This is
an attitude that will move you forward in any area that's
challenging you.
By way of contrast, If you show a non-stop, forever and
ever devotion to her, and put up with her crap and ambivalence,
then where is that tension of knowing she could lose you?
Answer: no where! And that's why you get no where when
you put up with this kind of stuff! If you've seen an initially
hot relationship grow ice-cold, this is one big reason!!!
Ok. On to some scenarios.
Scenario one: You call to ask her out for the first
time. Her response is ambivalent, something like, "Well, I'd
like to but, why don't you call me later in the week and..."
Here's your response:"Let me ask you a question, point blank. Is
going out with me something you can take or leave or is it
something that you're smart enough that you really want to do
that?". Then shut the hell up and listen for her answer.
Now, what are you doing here? You're calling her on her
ambivalence and letting her know you don't have time to be
put on hold. And you're also suggesting she's stupid if she
doesn't grab this opportunity. Finally, you're embedding a
command(about which much more later in other issues of this
newsletter) that she really does want to go out with you. Will
this work? Very often it does. It's not what she's expecting,
and that always gets attention. Just be as matter of fact and
non-hostile as you can. Understatement works best with this one.
What if she still hesitates? Well, try this one:
You: Look. You have my number, and I'm going to leave it up to
you. And you know, if you don't call it's going to be a loss for
me, but maybe what you won't realize until after you hang up is,
that it'll be a loss for you as well. Ok? Bye.
Scenario Two: She calls and cancels at the last minute without
offering to do it again at some specific time. (I've heard every
excuse in the book, my friend, from "My parakeet is sick" to "I've
got to shampoo the rug". Seriously)
Her: I can't make it. I've got a rare tropical disease that's
causing me to shrink by the hour.
You:(dead silence for as long as it takes for her to talk
again. Just say NOTHING!!!)
Her: Hello? Are you there? What's wrong?
You: What's wrong is I can't believe the bullshit I'm hearing.
Her: What?????
You: Look...you made a commitment to spend time with me and
now you're blowing me off. You're disrespecting me and
disrespecting my time and I'm NOT going to put up with it.
My rule is, if someone makes a commitment to me, I expect them
to keep it. If they can't keep it, I need to know at least a
day in advance so I can make other plans. Got it? If you can
live with that rule, great...if not, sayanora!
Then, HANG UP!!
Now, this may sound extreme, but man does it work well!!! In
fact, she'll probably call back with five minutes and apologize
and ask you out!!! I'm not kidding here; I've seen the hardest,
jaded bitches go to giggly little girls, eager to please me
when I've done this. It throws some kind of switch in their
heads. I guess with some people, you don't really get their
attention until.....
You Give Them A Swift Kick In The Ass!!
Scenario Three: You go to pick her up at her place and she either
keeps you waiting outside for more than ten minutes, or lets you
in and then proceeds to talk on the phone for at least that long
while totally ignoring you. Wait for her to finish, and as soon
as she does say something like this:
YOU: Can I ask you a question?
HER: Sure.
YOU: Are you being intentionally rude to test me, or are you just
an accidental asshole?
HER:(mouth dropping open in shock, unable to say anthing!)
YOU: Don't ever keep me waiting like this again, ok? I'll always
treat you respectfully, but I expect the same. Do you understand me?
HER: Uh..uh...yes.
YOU: Good. Let's see you make it up to me.
And at this point grab her and kiss her passionately. If you can,
try to turn this into a fuck then and there. Why give her an
evening on the town and reward her rotten behavior?
MORE POWER ATTITUDES TO GET YOU LAID LIKE CRAZY!!!
Since we're on the subject of attitude, I thought I'd review the
other most important POWER ATTITUDES for ultimate success with
women. (If you read them before in some of my other stuff, read
them again. Repetition is often the mother of skill!)
Here they are:
1. Being with me is the best possible choice any woman can
make. Now, can you prove that this is true? No, of course not.
It isn't a factual statement about an objective truth; it's a
position you choose to come from. And by the way, never verbalize
this attitude, for Christ sake. If you get right in a woman's
face and say, "being with me is the best choice you can make,
baby", you are going to get creamed. Show it in your behavior.
2. I consistently display the willingness to walk away.(We just
went over this. I ain't gonna explain it again)
3. I give a woman a little bit of what she wants, and then pull
back and make her work for more. As sad as it seems, if you
are too giving to a woman, too soon, you come off as hungry and
needy and she just winds up dumping you. You see, guys who are
successful with women give a free sample, but nice guy losers
give away the store. You must, no MUST learn to say "no", make
yourself a little scarce and unavailable, and keep her a little
bit in doubt.
4. I always come from the place of being determined to do
what works. So many times I've had people whine to me, "why
can't I just be myself?". What that really means is, "I want
to be lazy and do what I've always done all along, even though
it doesn't work!". Look, to really win big in life, you have
to be consistent. And that means applying these principles,
all the time, even when you don't particuliarly feel like it,
and especially if you are in a slump.
5. I never attach excess meaning to winning or losing with
women. I can(and will) do a whole issue on this one, but
basically what I mean is to realize that if a woman accepts
you, it doesn't mean that the next one will, so stay on your
toes, and don't get lazy or sloppy.(See item #4 directly
above) And if she rejects you, it just means that the approach
you tried, at this particular time, with this particular
woman, hasn't worked...yet. It might work at another time
with her, or you may just need another approach. Even if it
doesn't, as I once told a friend of mine who only thought he
saw me get rejected.....
Dan, I never get rejected. I only discover if a woman has
good taste!!
6. I don't need to win all the time; I size up a woman's potential
and either go for it or move on and cut my losses FAST. Sometimes
the best choice is just to say, "adios" and move on. When you
realize that you don't have to win all the time, then it takes
the pressure off and you become much more relaxed. Ironically,
and paradoxically, this almost always leads to your winning far
more often than you ever imagined possible!!!!
7. I never know what physical type a woman will go for so I
always for it congruently and powerfully. Listen: women are
much more individualistic in what they like, physically speaking.
I once had a gorgeous young thing tell me that if Mel Gibson or
Tom Cruise asked her out, she'd say, "no" because she only liked
tall, thin black men!! You just don't know, so go for it anyway.
Aren't those just great? Can you imagine how great you'll do with
women when you have these attitudes down?
Peace and piece,
Ross