I realize a number of you may be apprehensive about going to nightclubs. For people who are not used to a lot of social interaction, a nightclub is probably a place you've wondered about, but you fear going to one for a variety of reasons. You're shy and not good at introducing yourself to people, you can't dance, or you're intimidated by the other guys there. Firstly, all guys feel this way to some extent. It's completely normal to be apprehensive to something new like this, but I'm going to tell you, you have nothing, and I mean NOTHING to worry about and I'm going to dispel these myths for you.

      1. If you're shy and not good at introducing yourself, there is no better place to practice than at a nightclub. A nightclub is designed for men to meet women. Every guy feels awkward walking up to some chick they don't know in a store or classroom or someplace ordinary. When you do this sometimes the women act surprised and it can be awkward (It won't be after using the tips learned on this sight though!). However, at a nightclub you are EXPECTED to introduce yourself to women and they EXPECT it. No one but the real bitches (and they are few and far between) are going to cold shoulder you. They're going to be flattered you approached them and treat you nicely even if they aren't interested in you. Of course you HAVE to treat the women with respect, courtesy and niceness. So many guys walk up to women and say stupid things about sex, or even worse try to grab them onto the dance floor. These guys are incredible jerks, but you should delight in watching these fools get rejected (they ALWAYS get rejected). It's guys like these who make women appreciate a guy who walks up to her and in a kind voice introduces himself in a nice, non-threatening way.

      2. If you can't dance, well this is nothing to worry about. Firstly, have a drink to loosen up. You're here to have fun and meet women. Don't go to a special dance club like swing or something you don't know. Most clubs just play popular music of various types. You should definitely do some research by asking friends or looking on the internet to find a club you'll feel comfortable in. Of course, the funny thing is, once you actually go to one club you'll realize you'd be comfortable in *any* type of club. Well in most of these clubs all the guys are just doing the "whitey shuffle". Sure some of the better dancers may throw in a move or two, but you can pick up some moves of your own just by watching MTV or the other guys in the club. Most guys are content just to move their body to the music and move their arms around. Now the women, they like to move their bodies around, and when you ask a girl to dance, you're going to enjoy having her move it around you. Girls don't expect guys to know how to dance, they're happy to find a guy who will even indulge them in a dance (a lot of guys will tell chicks, oh I'm no good at dancing and I don't like to dance). Believe me, no one is going to comment on your dancing in a crowded club. Everyone is so self-conscious they are never going to even care about your dancing. Just don't go getting drunk and start dancing like Elaine Bennice from Sienfeld and you'll be fine!

      3. If you feel intimidated by the guys who would frequent a nightclub, well once you get there you will realize that you had nothing to worry about. Nobody's going to "pick" on you or anything like that. You're not in Junior High anymore! It's all in the movies. The only people who get in fights at bars and such are people who want to fight. Most guys in a nightclub are just as apprehensive as you. They stand against the walls of the dance floor and watch the people dancing or they spend all night at the bar or booth and never do anything. They're so worried about what other people will think, they never live life. Don't let this happen to you. If you accidentally hit on a girl with a boyfriend, she'll let you know. And if the guy is at the club, he's not going to care as long as you excuse yourself immediately and politely. People go to a club to have fun and enjoy themselves. Unless you're looking for a fight, you're not going to get in one. So get this silly idea out of your head and go have some fun!!

      Now there is one thing that is going to make your life a bit tougher at a nightclub. These women come in groups. This creates a number of problems for us guys who are trying to pick up chicks. Firstly, because these girlfriends decided to come as a group there are going to be a number of women who were talked into coming even though they don't really want to go (they're not interested in meeting guys, or are just fed up with men in general, oh well). Either that, or they may have a boyfriend and are just going for a "girls night out". When you ask them to dance, or introduce yourself they are going to reject you. You have to realize that this is absolutely not your fault! We all fear rejection at some point, but we really shouldn't. Read the section on "The Power of Rejection" and apply it and you will become a changed person! You should have no problem asking women to dance after reading it.

      The next thing about these groups of chicks is that they like to dance together. They're there to have fun with their friends and they're never going to ditch their friends for a guy. (Funny isn't it? How many times have you been left high and dry because your friend suddenly met a chick? Probably too many if you're like most guys.) Well, you are going to get rejected EVERY time you try to break in to dance with a group of girls dancing together. Your chances are best if you ask a girl dancing by herself (girls are content to dance by themselves even if no one else is dancing with them. This intrigues me.) Now, sometimes the pickings are slim, and the only girls dancing without guys all over them are the ones in groups. There are two things you can do in this situation. If the girls are dancing together and there are an odd number of them you can apply what I like to call the "Odd Woman Out" Technique. This technique is wonderful, and you will probably have better results with it than if you were to simply ask the girl when she is dancing by herself. You see, say three girls are dancing in a group. Two of the girls are going to be doing moves on each other or just simply facing each other more often, these are the girls in the group who love to dance! Now, the third girl is going to be dancing in the group, but feeling a bit left out. She may not consider herself as good of a dancer as the two other girls and this can play on her self-esteem. Well, well... here is your chance Tiger! Shake your groove maker over to that sweet little thing and ask her kindly to dance. She is probably feeling a bit left out and along comes a cool guy like you offering to alleviate the situation. She'll have someone to dance with and she can throw a little mental "ha-ha" to her friends showing she attracted a guy (it's that little game they play, I'm telling ya!). When these situations come along it's like money in the bank. And in a crowed club, this opportunity comes up a lot. This technique is awesome.

      Now if the girls are sitting together in a group, here is a technique you can use to get someone to dance with you. Wait for a lull in their conversation and walk up and ask them "Would any of you girls like to dance?" Chances are good that at least one will accept you may even have them play fighting over you! Of course they may all reject you, but you can't blame yourself. If one dumb girl blurts out a rejection immediately (she's the leader of the group), group mentality will take effect and they will all reject you. But rest assured there were probably more than a few who would have loved to dance with you and break away from the group. Just excuse yourself nicely by something like "Well thanks anyway, and if any of you change your mind the offer still stands."

      The last problem with girls in groups is that their friends will constantly be looking out for each other. In some cases it is all right, because obviously you two are not hitting it off and the friends will drag the girl away. It's any easy way of breaking away from a guy without hurting his feelings. It can get annoying when you are actually hitting it off, doing nothing wrong and their friends break in. If the vibe was good, do not just let her friends take her away immediately (she generally wont stay, girls do not ditch their friends for guys they just met). Step in between her and her friend (not rudely, just firmly) and let her know sincerely that you enjoyed dancing with her and invite her to come chat with you if she gets a chance. If it's getting late and you get so rudely interrupted, it is a good time to ask for her phone number. You're about to lose her for good, so don't hesitate.

      Now, if things are going really well and it is getting late and her friends are not forcing the girl to leave you may want to try to take the girl back to your place for some action. The way you go about asking her is crucial, but it is real easy. Unfortunately a lot of guys mess this part up by saying something like "So, do you wan't to go back to my place?" or "Do you want to hook up tonight?" Not that these don't work sometimes, it's just that it puts a lot of pressure on the girl and she is very likely to say no, since she hardly knows you. Instead of being direct, it is better to say something like "It's getting late and I don't want this night to end, how about coming to place so we can spend some more time together." If the music is pumping you can always try "It's really loud in here, want to go back to my place and get to know each other better." If the girl flat out says no, just accept it and ask for her number. If the girl says yes, well lucky you. More often than not the girl will say something like "I'm not that type of girl." This is not a "NO", so don't give up just yet. Remember you are putting a lot of pressure on her and she hardly knows you. The key here is to make her feel completely comfortable with you. You can say something like "No, it's nothing like that. It's just I hardly know you and I want to find out more about you. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." You are essentially relinquishing control of the evening over to the girl, and she is more likely to say yes. Once you get back to your place, feel free to make a move on her (ie. go in for a kiss). She'll either gracefully accept or make it known that she doesn't want to do anything other than talk. Just remember to respect her boundries and everything will be great.

      Don't deny yourself the wonderful opportunities of a nightclub, just because you're afraid to try something new. These places are abundant with opportunity. It's a perfect place to test your social skill. You'll never have to worry about feeling foolish asking a girl out in a nightclub because they expect it, AND they're strangers, so even if they reject you, you'll never have to see them again. Plus, there are so many girls at dance clubs that you'll have no problem getting them to dance with you and you stand a good chance of really hitting it off! Oh one last thing, don't forget to bring a pen so you can get those digits! Seriously, when planning to go out it may seem cheesy to stick a pen and something to write on in your pocket. But if the opportunity to get a number pops up you will be kicking yourself for not having one!