| Chicks love a fun-loving guy. Nothing can work more in your favor than a good sense of humor. It doesn't matter if your fat, balding and ugly. If you're funny the chicks will love you! Below is an excerpt from an email written from a chick's perspective about using jokes to pick chicks up. |
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In my experience, I have found that no man should "hang around" for more than five minutes - no matter how good looking -
the best approach is a joke - a semi clean joke - memorize at least five - Go up to a girl and ask her if she thinks this joke is
funny as a buddy said he could not stand it - Tell the joke - Hopefully she will giggle - then back off - tell her that she has
given you encouragement.
Now you are "buddies"...dont ask her to dance - get out of her space as quickly as you came into it - she now thinks of you as a friend - and not a threat. Now after a half an hour - travel back her way - If you have ANOTHER joke - do it now - if not - just casual conversation, such as, "I admire that perfume, may I inquire as to what it is? - my sister has been looking for a unique fragrance" - again, no sexual threats. If she keeps talking - great - you are home free - if she is still a little abrupt - leave her alone - It seems to me that a man using this slower approach has better chances than an aggressive man - but then who am I to say... "
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With that said, here a few of my favorite clean jokes to use on women. I've listen only the cleanest jokes, because when you tell a joke to a stranger you need to be very careful not to offend and come off looking like a jerk. Obviously, in a party type setting you can get away with racier jokes since they are funnier. These ones are clean, so don't expect too much. But I tried to list the cutest, funniest ones I could. I've also included some resources for jokes on the Internet. Enjoy!
.... a termite walks into a bar and says "Is the bar tender here?"
Knock Knock Who's There Oswald Oswald Who Oswald my chewing gum!
What did the math book say to the other math book? Man I got a lot of problems
Knock knock. Who's there? Centipede. Centipede who? Centipede on the christmas tree.
Knock Knock who's there? ice cream soda ice cream soda who? i scream soda people can hear me.
The following is a good joke to know because you can bring it up in a number of conversations.. it deals with a woman's age, weight, divorce and most importantly sex (in a semi-tasteful way)! A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, how old are you?" The mother responded "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older." The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this too as you grow up." The girl still wanting to know abut her mother fired off another question. "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much and I don't want to talk about it now." The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consults her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak a peak at your mother's driver's license. It tells you everything, just like a report card from school." Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The little girl starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. You're 35 years old." The mother very shocked says, "Sweetheart, how did you know that?" The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 134 pounds." "Where did you learn that?" The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got divorced. Because you got an "F" in sex."
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